Podcast

Before the Emergency: Get Your Essential Life Papers Signed Now with Richard A. Beckner - Episode 129

Diane Carbo

12 Dec 2025 — 6 min read

What happens if a medical crisis strikes today? Do your loved ones know your wishes? Can they access your finances to pay your bills? Or would it be chaos?

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Waiting for an emergency is the worst time to start planning. In this critical episode of the Caregiver Relief podcast, host Diane Carbo sits down with elder law attorney Richard A. Beckner, who brings a unique background in healthcare to the table. They cut through the legal jargon to explain exactly what documents you need, why you need them, and the "administrative nightmare" that unfolds if you wait too long.

This isn't just about aging; it's about protecting yourself and your family at any adult age. Don't wait for the crisis. Listen now and get the peace of mind you deserve.

In This Episode, You'll Learn:

✍️ The absolute "must-have" documents every single adult needs (Hint: it's more than just a will).
⚖️ The #1 mistake people make with their estate plan (Are you guilty of this "one and done" thinking?).
🏡 The real difference between a will and a trust, and how a trust can keep your family's assets private and out of court.
⏳ What "probate" actually is, why you want to avoid it, and how long it can tie up your family's assets (9-12 months!).
💰 A legal strategy to "spend down" assets for Medicaid eligibility by paying a family member for care—and how to do it correctly.
🩺 Why Diane strongly recommends never naming two siblings as co-Healthcare POAs and what to do instead.
😱 The stressful, expensive legal process your family must go through just to take care of you if you're incapacitated without these documents.

About Our Guest

Richard A. Beckner is an elder law attorney with an extensive background in healthcare. This unique perspective allows him to understand the intersection of legal and medical planning. He founded Faithful Elder Law Solutions to collaborate with individuals and families, helping them protect their futures through estate planning, trusts, and essential life documents.

Episode Outline

Why Prepare Before the Crisis?

Diane introduces the episode's topic: preparing before a crisis happens to avoid chaos.
Richard shares his journey from healthcare to elder law, driven by his faith and a desire to help people plan.

The "Must-Have" Essential Documents

Richard identifies the most critical documents:
- Durable (Financial) Power of Attorney (POA): Allows a loved one to step in and pay bills or manage finances if you become incapacitated.
- Healthcare Power of Attorney: Appoints someone to communicate with doctors on your behalf if you cannot.
Diane emphasizes that Advanced Directives are equally important for honoring your end-of-life wishes.
Richard clarifies that he typically executes Healthcare POAs and Advanced Directives "in tandem".
A Standard Will is the other must-have, allowing you to express your wishes for your assets and values after you're gone.
Diane stresses that everyone over 18 should have a POA and advanced directive.

Will vs. Trust: What's the Difference?

Will: Expresses your wishes for who gets your assets.
Trust: Works with a will (often as a "pour-over will") and gives you more control over how and when assets are distributed (e.g., when grandchildren reach a certain age).
Key Benefit of a Trust: Avoiding probate.

Understanding Probate (And Why to Avoid It)

If you pass away (even with a will), your estate must go through probate.
This is a court process where a judge identifies creditors and assets.
The Problems with Probate:
1. It's Slow: It can take 9 to 12 months on a "good day".
2. It's Expensive.
3. It's Public: Anyone can look up your assets and proceedings. A trust keeps this information private.

Medicaid, "Spend Down," & Personal Care Agreements

Diane asks about protecting a home from long-term care costs.
Richard discusses Medicaid Asset Protection Trusts, which can help one qualify for long-term care.
Diane strongly advocates for Family Caregiver Contracts (or Personal Care Agreements).
Richard confirms this is a valid "spend down" strategy. Medicaid has a 5-year (60-month) "look back" period and will penalize large "gifts" given to qualify.
However, paying an adult daughter (or other family member) for their services is not considered a gift. It is a recognized expense that allows you to legally spend down assets while compensating your caregiver.
Diane emphasizes this must be set up properly from the start, not retroactively.

The Critical Role of Advanced Directives

Richard explains that advanced directives provide peace of mind and prevent devastating family conflicts.
He gives the example of a son wanting to "keep dad hooked up on the machine" while the daughter knows he "wanted to let me go". An advanced directive provides clear, loving direction.
Diane's Pro-Tip: Never make two siblings co-healthcare POAs. This often leads to arguments at the worst possible time. Make one person the primary agent and another the backup.

The Most Common Estate Planning Mistakes

"One and Done" Thinking: Creating a will 20 years ago and thinking you're set. Life changes, and so should your documents. Richard advises a review every 3-5 years.
Assuming People Know What You Want: Your loved ones may have different interpretations or memories of your wishes. If it's not in writing, it can lead to conflict.

What Happens if You Wait Too Long?

If an emergency hits and no documents are in place, the result is an "administrative nightmare".
A shocking fact: Your spouse has no legal authority to make decisions for you without these documents.
Your loved one (e.g., your wife) would have to file a petition and go before a judge to have you legally deemed incapacitated. This requires hearings, physician testimony, and is both time-consuming and expensive—all just to get the authority to care for you.

How to Find the Right Help

Don't just go with the first attorney you find. Talk to at least two.
Find someone you "gel" with, who listens to your needs, and doesn't just push a pre-set plan on you.

A Final Word for Overwhelmed Caregivers

Caregiver burnout is real. Richard reminds caregivers to focus on their "why"—the love that motivates them.
Diane urges caregivers: You have to be able to ask for help.
Build a "care team" or support group for practical assistance (like rides, groceries, or cleaning). People genuinely want to help; you just have to ask.

The first step is the most important: Do it now.

💬 Got a Question? Ask the Expert!
Caring for a loved one can be overwhelming — but you're not alone. If you have questions, big or small, our expert team is here to help.
👉 Click here to Ask the Expert

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