The Most Devastating Myths Of Grief and How to Combat Them #3
Diane Carbo, a registered nurse care manager and owner of caregiverrelief.com, shares her personal journey of loss and how she overcame the myths and pain of grief with the help of the Afterlife Recovering from Grief Program.
Welcome back to the most devastating grief, myths of all, and how to combat them workshop. In case you missed the previous video. Hi, I'm Diane carbo or registered nurse care manager and the owner of caregiver relief.com. If you were viewing this, you may be in the midst of one of the most painful experiences in your life.
No one can know the depths of your pain. Loss and grief are one of the most trying experiences a human can possibly endure. I know because I lost my mother at the age of 18 years old. And most recently I lost my oldest son, a disabled vet to suicide. He was 35 years old if you were here because you've experienced a painful loss of a loved one.
I would first like to say, I'm so sorry for your. During my healing journey. I did some work with coach Fiona LivingWell who also lost her 17 year old daughter. After working with Fiona and feeling the benefits were very powerful course. We decided to collaborate and support others who were also suffering.
And this is how the afterlife recovering from grief program was created. We both have been where you have been and want to help you have a healthy resolution to your. I was two years into my grieving journey. When I took the afterlife course recovery from grieving program, I was depressed. I had gained a lot of weight and could not feel any joy or pleasure.
I was so afraid. I was going to forget my son. If I moved on, I was also other worried that others would forget him as well. I was feeling complicated grief and I felt stuck. Through the afterlife program, I was able to overcome those thoughts and feelings that were dragging me down for so long. In fact, the results from the course has helped me to experience life.
Again, it is possible for you to have a healthy and happy resolution to your bereavement. I have had a few people reach out to me since the last video about how they are tired of grieving alone. And others do not understand their pain and their sadness and despair. There comes a time when other family members are also grieving and need a gentle approach.
It is a time when you may feel as if you have to be strong for them over time. Many, not going through a grieving process. Just want you to get back to normal. I can tell you that from my own personal experience, that it was my connection to talking to strangers in the same situation that helped me more than anything.
As a nurse, I have experienced an intimate, emotional connection to many of my patients. And for some reasons, humans just feel more comfortable sharing their story with a stranger. It is a way to share their feelings without fearing, upsetting someone, or even, uh, alienating a friend for me. I know people expect me to get on with my life.
I wanted to tell so many, but you just don't understand. I wanted to explain my pain, the heartache, but I needed to take care of myself and I just didn't have the energy for it. I am a co admin for an online senior support. And I've like learned, there are many able to express themselves in a closed group that they would not share with a family member or a friend.
There is such a support and comfort in an anatomy and own enemy and distance and connecting with others that felt like I did being in contact with others that have the same feelings is wonderful. I finally found a place where I was understood. I found that online support was more consistent and comfortable for me.
Local support groups met so infrequently and I needed so much more, many grief experts promote about writing about your feelings. It is a very healthy way to help you work towards grief resolution. I used to write to my son off. I found it very cathartic to write about what I was feeling, the pain, the sorrow, the anger, the sadness.
I poured my heart out. A journal allowed me to write things. I would not say to anybody else, a private journal can allow you to write personal and private thoughts that you may find embarrassing for others to see a journal can be kept private, but there are many times when you have things you want to share with us.
Another creative way to deal with grief is to create a Memorial project, such a, such as a Memorial scrapbook. A memory box can allow you and others to express their grief. This is project is a way to creatively express your emotions while creating a memory for your lost loved one. For me, as silly as it sounds, I did not want anyone to forget myself.
I've learned that this is a common fear. I wanted to create a Memorial project where Jeff's friends and our family could have an opportunity to visit with Jeff, share their life stories, and share pictures of him with others. I wanted to create a special tribute to my son. I wanted a place where others could connect to others as well as have a place where they can all draw emotional support from each.
I wanted to create a slide show of Jeff throughout his life and add music that Jeff would enjoy. I accomplished my goal and I will share more about that later, but there are so many ways you can help to heal and work towards your grief resolution. Some find drawing, painting, expressing themselves through an artistic medium, a freeing way to express emotions without using words.
For those of you that do not feel artistic, it is not about the end product. It is about the benefits you experienced going through the process of expressing yourself. Painting, sculpting or drawing can allow you to safely express yourselves. The piece you can create, maybe dark and ugly, but having the ability to get those feelings out in a concrete form.
Is better than allowing them to be stuffed away only to come out later. And because that causes such undue stress, I have learned it is better to deal with uncomfortable feelings as they come up expressing yourself. Creatively gives you respite from the pain and sorrow of your grief. It could also energize your space.
Creativity causes an increase in the release of serotonin levels on the brain and helps fight depression. So I would encourage you to explore that side of yourself, purchase crayons or paint, or even clay allow yourself to find enjoyment in something. It can be life-changing for you at a very difficult time.
Another creative strategy for grieving is reading or writing poetry. Or listening to, or even creating music. I have read some very beautiful and poignant poet poetry written by some of my clients that brought me to tears. Writing poetry allows you to express yourself in your own personal way. Some individuals want to tell you tell others how they are feeling to understand the pain and suffering that they are experiencing.
Reading poems about grief and loss can also help, you know, how you were feeling and that you are not alone. Music has phenomenal healing powers. It has the ability to reach your heart and your soul music. For many of us is a way to feel connected to our lost loved one. For some, it is comforting to listen to music that they're the lost family member listened to.
Music has the ability to stimulate your memory of happier times for those that are musically inclined, you may not want to write a star. You may want to write a song to tribute as a tribute to your loved one. Did you know that Elton John wrote two songs to deal with the loss of his two friends? When princess Diana died in a car accident, he wrote candle in the wind to express his love and grief over her past.
He only performed that VR version. Once at her funeral, listening to music about grief and loss can provide you with emotional support during a difficult time music. As a therapy promotes healthy change. Grieving is a journey and it takes support and tools to help you get to a healthy resolution. I discovered a program that helped me so much.
I want to share it with you. The work I did with Fiona living well with her afterlife, a grief recovery program has led me to develop a comprehensive grief work support program facing grief. Every day is a challenge in collaboration with Fiona, we have created a support program that will strengthen your ability to handle your agreement, your bereavement in the best way possible.
Since grief affects all parts of you. You need to pray. You need practices to address all of them. If that is too much to ask, choose one or two to practice each day for your body, you need to become an expert in self care for your mind. There are techniques you will learn to clear and calm it. You will have experience of emotions and your thoughts in a tug of war.
Your emotions need attention. Or attention than ever before. There are techniques and strategies you can use daily to continue to make connections with others. This is so important as others listened to you, you also hear yourself for your spirit is important to practice expression. Every day, we offer some creative ways to express your thoughts and emotions.
It is important to find activities that you can lose yourself in for a while. We are here to help you realize that resilience is a choice, movement, and action towards grief resolution takes energy. Some days you may have to force yourself to take action on bad days, you made need to depend on someone else to borrow some energy.
We help you to grow and feel more in charge of your recovery. We have developed a support system to be here for you on those tough days. We are a group of caring individuals who will walk alongside you through one of life's most difficult experiences. You don't have to go through the grieving process alone.
We take you by the hand and gently guide you through the unknown maze of bereavement. Watch out for the next video as there will be. It will only be available for a limited time. If you go down to the end of the page, you'll see that there's a link below. Please leave. Please like me, you know, how important that is and share with others as well as leave comments so that I can address it in the next video.
And there's also a link down there that will give you more information about the afterlife recovering from grief program. I look forward to seeing you on the next video and hearing about your comments.
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Diane Carbo