Communicating With Aging Parents

You can easily fall between helping and advising. To the aging adult they may perceive this as “taking over”.

As hard as it is to hear, as concerned as you are about your aging loved one is, remember, it is not your life. Your parent is not a child.

You feel as if the roles have been reversed. It is critical that you become a better communicator. Many aging adults alienate themselves from family member. They come to mistrust one or even all of the family members. Often, family members cannot agree on what needs to be addressed and what is best for the aging adult. It is important to preserve your family relationships.

Family dynamics change as the aging adult declines physically and/or mentally. Many families do not address the issues of the aging adult until a crisis occurs.

Hasty decisions are made. Lifelong sibling dynamics can result in hurt feelings. And hostility ensues toward the decision maker. One study found … 40 percent of adult children providing assistance reported serious conflict with a sibling. It was usually related to lack of sufficient help from that sibling.

Caregiver Relief understands how important and stressful communicating with aging parents can be.

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End if Life and Future Living Arrangements

End of life planning is an important topic to discuss. This includes future living arrangements, healthcare and legal issues. It is best to approach this topic with open-mindedness and active listening. End of life planning can be an emotionally charged subject but it’s essential for all adults to have a plan in place just in case something unexpected happens. If your aging parent does not feel comfortable talking about end of life planning, find out what other topics they are comfortable discussing such as hobbies or memories from their past. Fostering an environment where your parent feels heard and safe will make for more effective conversations about the difficult matters ahead.

Most importantly, don't forget to show compassion when communicating with your aging parents - remember that even though they may not express it outwardly, they still need love and care. Take time to listen to what they have to say and respond with understanding. This will help you create an open line of communication that can lead to better conversations about the future.

By honoring your parent’s wishes and communicating effectively, you can make this transitional period a positive experience for all involved. Listening patiently and openly without judgement is key in ensuring that everyone’s needs are met while preserving valuable family relationships. End of life planning is a difficult but necessary step in providing your aging parents with the best possible care going into the future. Together, you can develop a plan that works for everyone involved.