My Caregiver Burden : My Grandmother's Negative Behaviors are Affecting My Children
Navigating dementia and difficult behaviors can be overwhelming for caregivers. Learn more about managing the burden and finding resources to help you and your family in this personal account and list of 100 dementia caregiving tips.
I hate to call it caregiver burden, but, this is not what I expected. I moved my family into my grandmother's house, put in over $100K worth of improvements. My grandmother was always there for me. She raised me.
I have 2 young children and 2 teenagers and a supportive husband. The problem is, grandma has dementia and her behaviors have become more and more challenging. She is accusing the children of stealing and letting the dog out. She consistently takes my daughter's baby dolls and says they are hers. She has brought my youngest daughter to tears.
My mother and her sisters refuse to help me.
My grandmother's most recent behavior, disrobing and waling around the house naked has put me over the edge. I must have to redress her over 20 times a day.
The house is in my grandmother's name and I have nothing in writing to say that she gave me the house to help keep her at home. At this point in time, I feel lost and frightened. My home, my grandmother's home may need to be sold to pay for nursing home placement for her.
At this point in time, I am taking one day at a time and keeping her here. Otherwise, I could lose everything.
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Thank you for sharing this information. I would suggest that you make an appointment with an elder care attorney as soon as possible. There are some states that allow you to keep the house, if you have lived in it and provided care for a certain period of time. This will vary from state to state. There may be something you can do for Medicaid Asset Protection.
You are in a very difficult situation and you need help in the home. There are many different community services that may be available to offer you assistance. I would see if there is a Medicaid Waiver program in your area.
Did she serve or her husband serve in the military? There are Veteran's benefits that may help you.
As far as her challenging and negative behaviors, there are approaches you can take, but, to be honest with you, it is going to be very difficult because of the children in the house.
A far as her undressing, I can suggest that you purchase or make a fidget apron. I would take an old dress shirt of your husbands and put it on her backwards, over her clothes. Put things on the back of his shirt, such as buttons, velcro straps, very large bulky zipper. Put pockets on it. The goal is to keep her hands busy doing things with her hands, while keeping her clothes on.
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