Life after Caregiving : Remembering My Parents Anniversary
Johnny and Jo's love story spans 72 years, including a difficult journey of caregiving for Johnny during his cancer battle.
Life after Caregiving : Anniversaries
72 years ago today… Johnny was a young soldier on weekend leave. And Jo, a lovely young woman who had traveled by train from another state, stood before an altar in a church in Mobile, AL. That day they exchanged wedding vows. They promised to love each other “for better or for worse, in sickness and in health” – and they did.
40 years later, Johnny was diagnosed with cancer that already spread. For five months, he lingered on while the cancer ate away at his body, spreading to his lymph nodes and then to his brain. For five months, his wife and daughters took care of him, loved him, and did everything they could for him.
When he died, Jo picked up the pieces of her life, and moved on, making a new life for herself. She was still a vibrant, lovely woman. Not so young any more, in her early 60s, but still able to turn heads and charm everyone who met her. There were predictions that she would love again. Maybe marry again. That she would not live out the rest of her years alone. Though several men tried to catch her interest, Jo always said no one else she met ever measured up to her Johnny.
The new life Jo created involved a lot of volunteering… with her church, with fraternal organizations, with the local food bank. Everyone loved her smile, her warmth, her caring demeanor.
As she grew older and began to have her own health issues, she tried to bear them all with grace and dignity. Even the things that seemed designed to rob a person of any semblance of dignity.
Jo spent her last three years in an assisted living facility. She quickly became a staff favorite. She always had a smile and a kind word for everyone. She glad to see anyone who visited. Her room was a peaceful little oasis. Many of the aides would stop by each day just to have a quick hello and enjoy the serenity of her presence.
At the end of her life, Jo had to bear the pain of severe injuries from a fall. She developed a debilitating neurological disease. She was crippled by a stroke. She still tried to show her love for her beloved family, for her friends, and for the loving God she worshipped.
One night, Jo and her hospice aide sang hymns together. The family had just returned from dinner to the sounds of … “Old One Hundred”: “Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Praise him all creatures here below. Praise him above the Heavenly host. Praise
Father, Son and Holy Ghost.”
Before Jo died, her daughter watched as she began slightly lifting her head. She began making little “kissing” motions. As if greeting someone, several some ones, in fact.
Then Jo raised both arms up, curving them into an embrace with a presence only she could see. Considering that her last fall had left her with a broken collarbone and 10 fractured ribs… this was pretty remarkable. Whether there was anything or anyone there is something no one in this life can know.
The nurse and Jo’s family remain convinced to this day that… she was embracing her beloved Johnny, who had come to welcome and guide her onward. They had a love to last through the ages.
Happy Anniversary, Mother and Daddy! I love you.
Blessings,
Judy
Do you have a story that you would like to share about your fondest memories of your caregiving journey? How about your life after caregiving?
We would love to hear them.
Please share your stories so that others may know about life after caregiving.
You’re probably not alone–your personal experience could resonate with other readers on this site. Share your stories, ask your questions, rant, rave or stomp your feet!
No profanity or flames please this is a Family Friendly site.
Either way, we’d love to hear from you!
You don’t need to be a professional writer – all you need is the desire to share an experience or ask others for help with a situation or question. I love to hear stories of your family member and your situation .
So, please, share a few pictures of yourself or your family member. If you have made changes to a house to remaining the home longer, those are great photos share as well.
Here are a few things you should know about sharing with Aginginplace.com :
If you are sharing a story please make it about:
- Your caregiving experience
- Your family member that you are taking care of,
- Or about any situation related to support services (good and bad)
- Difficulties with insurance
- Concerns about alternative placement , such as a Nursing home or Assisted Living
- And tips on caregiving.
- Remember, sharing your experience will help others with similar situations.
When it comes to a question, a little bit of information about your situation would be most helpful. You do not have to follow the amount of content rule.
Here’s what we would not publish:
No affiliate or commercial links.
Please :
No thinly disguised advertorials
No stories that have been published elsewhere,
No sales pitches for products or businesses.
I’ve let a few through in the past – those links will be deleted in the coming weeks so please don’t bother sending any more in.
If you are sharing a story, according to Google rules and article must have between 300-700 words. Less is too short for a page, and longer is just… too long. Don’t forget to provide a link to your personal website or blog so we can link back to you!
Try to include at least one photograph (it really does make a story come alive) but no more than four. Tell us what’s in each picture.
Don’t forget to include your full name and email so I can get back to you if I have any questions.
One more thing:
I’ll do everything I can to publish your story. Sometimes I get submissions that don’t make the cut – because they don’t follow the guidelines. I can’t reply individually. But if your piece doesn’t appear soon after you submit it, chances are it doesn’t meet requirements.
So please, read the above carefully – and hit that keyboard. The rest of us can’t wait to read your post
Do You Have a Great Story About This? Share It!
I’ve been receiving emails that have made me recognize the need to generate an area for caregivers and aging baby boomers to express themselves. Are you an aging baby boomer with questions and concerns about aging in place or aging in general? Are you a family caregiver needing support and a place to vent? Are you a family member that needs information on how to advocate for the aging senior in your life? Feel free to ask the experts! We are here for you. NO question is off base.
What Other People Are Saying…
- Hope to inspireQuestion: In hopes to inspire someone, my mom is a 5th stroke survivor home on hospice and doing absolutely amazing from nursing homes/oxygen/trake/food peg tube, it has been a long journey-Love ...Read more..
- Feeding tube at home careQuestion: I need to know if you need to go to class to learn how to feed a patient with a feeding tube at home care. -Jeanne Response: Jeanne, thank you for this question. ...Read more..
- Self-isolating dementia patientQuestion: Hi, Thanks for your website and help over email. This is a huge help for the public. I’d appreciate your thoughts on how I can reach out to a friend who has ...Read more..
- Diagnosed with dementiaQuestion: My beloved wife. First steps in Dementia. Age 81. -Ayre Response: Ayre, I am so sorry to learn of our wife’s dementia diagnosis. Please feel free to contact me with any questions as ...Read more..
- ADLQuestion: I am new to your website. What is an ADL? I am caregiver to my 88 year old mother (for 17 years) and have found your site to be helpful. -Linda Response: Oh ...Read more..
- Dealing with a narcissistQuestion: I was going to give you the whole background story, but the reality is it won’t help. Grandma is a narcissist who has driven away every one of her children ...Read more..
- APSQuestion: Hello. I need help. APS was supposed to do a capacity test for a friend of mine. She is older and her family is trying to get control of her ...Read more..
- Rectal ProlapseQuestion: I work with an an older woman who has an issue with rectal prolapses. Some times its just a tube like wrinkled prolapse and like today it was large ball ...Read more..
- Caregiver stressQuestion: Really angry at the unfair treatment I’m receiving from my parent with dementia. All I do is work and come home to more work. Just getting off from 1.5 week ...Read more..
- Feeding TubeQuestion: What stage will the feeding tube be removed? -Sharon Response: Sharon, you are asking me about when a feeding tube is removed. I do not know if you are asking if a person ...Read more..
Share Your Sorrow: Writing To Heal
You might also like this article:
Diane Carbo