My grandparents raised me. However I know who my mother is and have a bond with my family. Yet I am only 27 and somehow my aunts/uncles feel the need to not help their own mother. My grandmother has been married for over forty five years and my grandfather does what he can. I feel stuck I am in school full time and work and have no social life. I have set my boundaries but its hard. My aunts/uncles even mother has their lives they don’t offer to help let alone visit. I have my life ahead of me, not trying sound selfish but I’m passed my breaking point. My grandfather is retired and now works a part time job to keep afloat.
It is really stressful and does not want to put my grandmother into a nursing home. She has had home care and refused treatment.
The doctor’s told her if she does not allow the nurses to come back to the home, they cannot treat her. That was in February and now it is October. There has to be another way. I understand some people want to be in control. And when they can’t be in control anymore take their pain and anger out on others.
I am so sorry to hear that you are experiencing this at such a young age. The most difficult thing for you is to watch the grandmother you love make poor choices. And the grand father you love support those choices. When you know that there is alternative help and resources out there.
The saddest part of this equation is their perception of control.
The simple fact is... by not getting the proper help... by not becoming educated health care consumers ... your grandparents; put themselves at risk for strangers taking control ... when a crisis occurs. And it is a matter of time that a crisis will occur.l
The lack of planning, the very thing that your grandparents were trying to prevent... an admission to a nursing will occur. It is most often does. It is inevitable. The statistics are in their favor for it.
I know that this is hard to understand. But, right now, all you can do is be there to support them the best way you know how. That would be to love them. Be a great student.
At least try to get them to get all the:
and telephone numbers together for both your grandparents.
Keep it up to date for them. If you can get them start planning ahead... and make some one a power of attorney for health care... and get them to write out an advanced directive, you will have accomplished great things.
Roberta, take baby steps. GET The medical information first. And do not forget to make a copy for yourself.
Taking care of elderly parents with dementia, or in your case grandparents can be an incredibly challenging experience for any caregiver, often resulting in increased stress and burden.
Taking on the responsibility of caring for a loved one with dementia can be difficult, especially if the caregiver is not familiar with how to best provide care. It’s important to understand the various aspects of caregiving, such as communication, nutrition, and physical activity, in order to ensure that your loved one with dementia receives the best possible care.
It’s also important to recognize signs of caregiver stress and burden, so that you can take steps to reduce the impact of these on both you and your loved one. This includes setting limits and boundaries.
Taking care of elderly parents with dementia can be a rewarding experience, as it gives you the opportunity to provide comfort and companionship.
However, it’s important to be aware of the potential stress and burden that can come with caregiving, so that you can take steps to reduce these. Taking the time to understand your loved one’s needs and how to best provide care is essential for both you and them.
Diane Carbo RN
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