Caregiver asking for help...
This is actually for my husband. He is a caregiver for his step father. This situation is impossible. My husband and I are living at "G-Pa's" house so he can stay in his own home for the rest of his life. (he is 91)
I feel moving in with him for 5 years has been enough. Now he came back home after a 3 month stay in a rehab nursing home after a broken femur. He is even more demented than before, is now in a wheel chair instead of being ambulatory.
He is in diapers, doesn't say when he has to go and my husband is continually cleaning up feces. I just got out of the hospital for a hip replacement. This house is too small for all of us and there is only 1 bathroom. The problems go on.
First, I would like to wish you a fast and speedy recovery from your hip surgery. Next, I would like to address your husbands caregiving situation.
There comes a time when an alternative setting should be considered. I am a very strong advocate for trying to keep a family member at home for as long as possible. I do not feel that this should be accomplished at the expense of the caregiver.
Have you looked into in home help? There are resources that your step father in law may qualify for, such as: Medicaid Waiver Program, or the VA Aid and Attendance Program if he was a vet.
Please feel free to join our closed FB group. We offer support, kinship and a place so that you do not feel alone.